Friday, April 16, 2004


We'll see how long I can keep writing before Internet Explorer crashes again. Sometimes I wonder why the heck I am here. I mean, it used to make sense to me, but then as soon as I started doing it, it ceased to. Nonetheless, I am still here. For some reason God has me here. He could have very easily expressed his will in keeping me from raising the support to be here. However, he expressed his will in giving me the money to return, for reasons unbeknownst to me. So we've got this whole idea that the church is a body, diverse in its parts, but unified in its whole, each part supporting and helping the others. What part am I? I guess I am probably like the back hair or something analagous, something that seemingly has no purpose until God explains it at some point in the future to show how he uses the foolish and weak things of the world to shame the wise. Paul seems to have a wild imagination when he says to the Corinthians that the testimony about Christ was confirmed among them, so that they are not lacking in any spiritual gift, as they wait for the revealing of the Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain them to the end, guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. But maybe God had in plan for them to become a great manifestation of his glory, and for them to shame the wise, and for them to make known the manifold wisdom of God to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This is the only pattern which could make sense of God's having me here (if I am here for anyone's sake but my own, and people in S.C.), b/c I am faithless, weak, and foolish, not useful to God. I hope to see the Corinthian church, clothed in robes of glory, someday. We could rejoice together in the faithfulness of our God, and his great love, expressed in making lovely, the unlovely, by uniting us to Jesus in his resurrection. This is still my hope.