The world will never consider Christ crucified relevant. The unchurched will never tell us that they want to hear the message of the cross. This is why the church doesn't ask people what they want to hear. The church preaches what people need to hear.
The unchurch offers the unchurched lots of things to do. The typical unchurch is a very busy place. Why? This is what the unchurched expect. The unchurched always expect less than God gives. The unchurched expect the church to be like any other volunteer organization. The church has something better.
The church isn't interested in giving sinners something to do. The church is interested in giving sinners the things God has done for them. The church isn't interested in keeping Christians busy. God has given our families, neighbors, and work to do that. The church is where God does his work.
~Todd Wilken "The Promise-Driven Church"
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God" 1 Cor 1:18
Another quote(saying the same thing):
"We know what sinners want to hear. We want to hear about ourselves. We want to hear that God loves us just as we are. We want to hear how we can improve our lives and ourselves. We want to hear that we can do it--with a little help from Jesus. This is why the unchurch preaches so much about the Christian and so little about the Christ."~ Wilken
As for a definition of terms, the "unchurch" is the church that is built on what the people want out of a church rather than God's design.
Sorry for the length of the quote. I seriously didn't post the entire article.